This week on Weekender: The funny thing about life is that we’re always trying to kill each other and save each other at the same time – let’s drink more and save our liver too! Incidentally out of sheer boredom, this week’s theme features that song by The Verve. And bad puns.

‘Cause baby, ooh, if heaven calls, I’m coming, too

"Look into my eyes. Buy Cointreau buy Cointreau buy Cointreau buy Cointreau..."
“Look into my eyes. Buy Cointreau buy Cointreau buy Cointreau buy Cointreau…”

 

Cointreau has called upon gorgeous supermodel Laetitia Casta to serve as their creative director for the next two years. According to Cointreau, Laetitia, like Cointreau, embodies the free spirit of la Parisienne, the Parisian woman; and she would have the perfect CV for that: Laetitia was once chosen as the model for the bust of Marianne, the symbol of the French Republic. This ties up perfectly with Cointreau’s upcoming campaign, which is focused on women, with Laetitia paying tribute to Louisa Cointreau and her pivotal role for the House’s history in encouraging women to explore their creative side. I believe I can speak for the (already blubbering) men here with an approving nod. What was the campaign about again, sorry? (via Yahoo Finance)

Just like you said, you leave my life, I’m better off dead

A great relief for Britain it was, with Scotland narrowly voting against independence at the Scottish independence referendum last year. A report has just revealed that the Scotch whisky industry is worth £5bn to UK economy, employs 10,900 people, and supports a further 30,000 jobs through the supply chain. It’s the third biggest industry in Scotland, and makes up 70% of the entire Scottish food and Drink sector. Scotch whisky also represents more than a fifth of the UK’s food and drink exports, and brings in £4.3bn of the UK’s £19.4bn total in exports: it’s bigger than iron and steel or computer industries. This report is but one of many reasons why it would have devastating for the UK had the vote swung the other way. Pass the scotch will you? Oh wait. (via The Guardian)

Now the drugs don’t work

He’s no nutty professor, but David Nutt, a – deep breath here – neuropsychopharmacology professor from Imperial College, London, has developed a drug that mimics the effects of alcohol; namely its inebriant properties, but is non-toxic and does not bring with it the effects of hangover as well as liver damage. Called “alcosynth”, the non-addictive substance is derived from valium, and will not invoke withdrawal symptoms. And it gets better. His other invention, “chaperone”, apparently counters the effects of alcohol when taken, making it impossible for you to become drunk to the point of incapacitation. Sounds good at first, but doesn’t sound like it promotes responsible drinking. If you don’t mind, I’ll wait till he develops “liverstrong” first. (via The Telegraph)

They just make you worse

According to a recent study, having alcohol before you take 40 winks may help you doze off, but apparently it sets off a flurry of activity in your brain and hampers the quality of your rest by reducing REM sleep. Over time, it may have detrimental effects. Rather sobering news. (via The Spirits Business)

But I know I’ll see your face again

ikishouten resizedA little bird told me that there will yet be another liquor store popping up soon, offering Japanese spirits, fine wines, bespoke corporate packages & customised gift solutions. Iki Shouten hasn’t officially launched yet, but you can still sound them out for CNY and Valentine’s Day specials by contacting them on their website or Facebook page. Ask for a punchline too, I’m dry.

Yeah, I know I’ll see your face again

Do your loved ones a favour, and reduce your chances of cirrhosis by not picking up that glass of tipple just once once a week – so says a new study published in the Journal of Hepatology. It was thought that cirrhosis is a result of the quantity of alcohol consumed, regardless of drinking patterns, but results from the study showed that daily drinking was far more damaging to the liver than drinking five or six days a week. But as with all things in life, the truth usually lies somewhere in between – so I’ll make do with six and a half. (via The Telegraph)

I’m never going down, I’m never coming down

Johannes van Leeuwen, a professor in construction and environmental engineering at Iowa State University, has created a vodka he that he claims is so pure, it reduces hangovers. Ingeniously called IngeniOz (I’m really not being sarcastic), the vodka gets its name from a technique Johannes used to purify water. Ozone gas is introduced during the distillation process, and the oxygen molecules attaches to impurities, which then are easily filtered. Over here we have another technique; it’s called don’t drink the cheap, nasty stuff. (via The Drinks Business)

No more, no more, no more, no more, no more

As a hip hop artiste, it’s become almost mandatory that you align yourself (flog) with one of the many brands of premium (“nice” bottles and fancy names) spirits, as a public service to remind people that money can’t buy class. But just one time, we’ll give Snoop Dogg a free pass because well, he’s Snoop Dogg. After his partnership with Cuca Fresca cachaça last year, the first advertisement featuring the beloved elder statesman of hip-hop has been revealed on Youtube.

But please, no more, no more, no more, no more. (via The Spirits Business)

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